im a product of my environment. someone who would sooner voice his thoughts here than in a closed car by himself. ive been in the business of self expression my whole life. i write music, i take pictures, i create instruments, but here i write. i live in a state of hope that gets shut down all the time, but then don't we all? i have few possessions and i find optimism in the absence of just about everything in my life by justifying that everything fades out and sometimes its better to have lost it quickly. i try to understand human behaviour whether its mine or not. i might sit on a park bench and listen to someone and let them know im listening because maybe no one else does and i know what that feels like. i write about the ghosts of people i loved and lost due to distances, differences, and poor chance. yet here, when i write, i recognize them again. the people who might not ever know that something they did changed my life. and i wish to think that something i did might of had the same effect. i talk about the distance between everyone and how amazing it is when people can lose that for a moment even if its just a look in the eye. I met a girl named Leah once. and if everything i ever did in my life was for the sake of holding up the idea of who she was on a pedestal then I dont feel like that would be a wasted life. life is amazing. god, whoever he or she is, is a better storyteller than any of us.